The What Why and How of Goal Settings

There is beauty in having goals and in aiming to achieve them. This idea is perfectly captured by Jim Rohn’s quote:

“Become a millionaire not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it.”

This wisdom suggests that humans need goals to reach them and grow and improve through the journey. Yet, this perspective isn’t without its critics. Take, for instance, this provocative quote from Fight Club:

“SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS MASTURBATION, NOW SELF-DESTRUCTION…” - TYLER DURDEN

This counter-view raises an interesting point: focusing too much on self-improvement can become narcissistic and isolating. Rather than connecting with others or making real change, someone might become trapped in an endless cycle of self-focus, similar to the character’s own psychological struggles.

Despite these conflicting viewpoints, I find the pursuit of self-improvement invigorating, probably because I grew up watching anime. I have always loved the classic story arc, in which the hero faces a devastating loss, then trains and comes back stronger than before. This narrative speaks to something fundamental about human potential and resilience.

But let’s dig deeper into the practical side of goal-setting. If you align more with Jim Rohn’s philosophy of continuous improvement, you might wonder how to reach your goals. However, I’ve found that what’s harder than the “how” is actually the “what” and “why.” Why do you even want to reach goals? This question becomes especially relevant in our modern Western society, where many people seem settled for working their 9-5, doing the bare minimum, then watching Netflix. Maybe they have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and their only adventure is visiting other countries. Or they just enjoy living in the moment. Or they have a kid, and that child becomes the whole meaning of life.

These are all valid ways to live, but they raise an interesting question about happiness versus meaning. This reminds me of a profound conversation from the series “Heroes”:

Mr. Linderman: “You see, I think there comes a time when a man has to ask himself whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning.”

Nathan Petrelli: “I’d like to think I have both.”

Mr. Linderman: “Can’t be done. Two very different paths. I mean, to be truly happy, a man must live absolutely in the present. And with no thought of what’s gone before, and no thought of what lies ahead. But, a life of meaning… A man is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess about the future. And my guess is that you’ve done quite a bit of obsessing about yours these last few days.”

This dialogue highlights a fundamental dilemma in goal-setting. If your sole aim is happiness, perhaps the wisest path would be to retreat to Tibet and meditate all day, truly living in the now. But for many of us, pursuing meaning through goals provides its own form of fulfillment.

Before setting any goals, you need to honestly assess what you want. Sometimes, your goal is maintaining what you already have - a good job, house, spouse, and kids. However, this brings up another trap I’ve encountered personally. I used to think that once I had everything I wanted, I could stop trying, assuming things would stay the same. This is often a fundamental mistake. Even maintaining the status quo requires continuous work and attention.

Once you understand your “why,” you can formulate specific goals. You need to develop a clear vision of how you want your life to look in the coming years. Let’s use weight loss as an example since it’s familiar and easily quantifiable.

Consider this vision: “I want to be healthy and look good by the end of the year. I want to be more self-confident.”

Now, let’s examine how not to structure your goal. Many people simply say, “My goal is to lose weight.” With such a vague objective, you might join the gym in January and countless others. Still, when life throws curveballs your way - illness, work stress, or missed training sessions - your commitment quickly fades because there’s no clear target to maintain your focus.

A better approach would be setting a specific goal like “I want to weigh x KG by y date.” This brings clarity and measurability to your objective. However, even this improved goal isn’t enough on its own. You must build a system - an environment that naturally nudges you toward your goals. As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, brilliantly puts it:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

This insight from one of the most influential books on habit formation reminds us that motivation alone is unreliable. Instead, you need to create sustainable habits that align with your goals. For a weight loss goal of 10kg by May, these habits might include:

• weighing yourself daily
• tracking calories
• walking 10k steps
• going to the gym 3 times per week

Another powerful insight from James Clear concerns the language we use with ourselves. For instance, if you’re trying to quit smoking and someone offers you a cigarette, don’t say you’re trying to stop or that you’re an ex-smoker. Instead, firmly state, “I don’t smoke,” from day one. This simple shift in language helps reprogram your identity - you’re not just trying to become a non-smoker, you already are one. Fake it till you make it.

While habit-tracking apps can be helpful tools when starting out, remember to be gentle with yourself. If you miss a day, don’t let it unravel your entire journey. This leads to the most important advice: don’t do it alone. Despite what some YouTube gurus might suggest about “monk mode” and isolation, finding a community of like-minded individuals can be crucial for success. Share your journey, find accountability partners, and don’t hesitate to work out with others.

To summarize the path to reaching your goals:

Why

Be honest with yourself. Think about your life. Are you happy with it? What kind of meaning do you want to create?

What

If you’re content with your life, what aspects need maintenance? If not, what specific changes would create the life you envision? Think carefully about which goals would elevate your life’s quality and meaning.

How

Once you’ve identified a meaningful goal that resonates deeply with your values, the implementation becomes clearer:

1. Write down the goal in specific, measurable terms
2. Set a realistic timeline for accomplishment
3. Study and adopt the habits of those who’ve already achieved similar goals
4. Track your progress consistently
5. Build a supportive community of like-minded people
6. Distance yourself from influences that don’t align with your new direction (you know who they are)

Remember, the journey toward your goals is as important as reaching them. Through this process, you’ll discover not just what you can achieve but who you can become.